Jokes for a good mood for today 7 grudnia 2017.
Trust is when you say: “you Know, you have him walking”.
And you say “Let him walk… He is warmly dressed…”
Two students of military chair stand, smoke in the toilet. One asks:
– Know what our major is different from a donkey?
From behind the Mallorcan face, sarcastically:
– Well, what?
– Nothing, comrade major!
Here swimming is forbidden, says a police woman who is going to enter the water.
– Why didn’t you tell me when I undressed?
To disrobe here is not prohibited.
Border. Customs. In the compartment includes a customs officer: “any Drugs? Weapons? Smuggling?”.
Passenger: “Me tea with lemon, please.”
Professor of psychology explains:
The best way to save the girl from depression – sex.
One student asks:
– Professor, how to bring the girl to of depression?
Businessman caught a goldfish. She tells him:
– Let go of me, your every wish will come true.
– Fish, here I have an apartment in Kiev and Villa in the Canary Islands. Build me a highway, so I could quickly from apartments to villas to reach.
– Well you give! It’s very difficult. Just imagine how much concrete, asphalt… better make another wish.
– Okay. Here I had four wives. Done everything for them, but was always dissatisfied with something, and I don’t know why. Teach me, goldfish, to understand women…
– You freeway four – or six-lane?
The doctor asks the patient:
– Did you consider before bed, as I advised you?
Yes. I counted to 234523.
And then you fell asleep?
– No, it was time to get up.
– That is passed on the right! To buy the car you want. Can advise what is best for girls?
My Bob says I have perfect figure.
– A fool, he’s a mathematician. For him, the ideal shape is a circle!
Doctors say that the human body grows only up to 25 years.
Unfortunately, neither the stomach nor the priest about this not even suspect.
Caucasian old age comes into the store and return to the seller:
– Sell me two suits.
– Grandpa, why do you have two? You’re already 80 years old. Take one to the end of my life.
– One taken, the other for dad.
Look, if you’re 80, the Pope, probably about 100-105!?
– Yes, you’re right, just for grandpa’s wedding want to be elegant.
– If 105 the father, the grandfather, probably, 130 years!? he wants to get married?
– He does not want parents make!!!