Smile a new day. Jokes for a good mood for today 7 grudnia 2017

Jokes for a good mood for today 7 grudnia 2017.

Посміхніться новому дню. Анекдоти для доброго настрою на сьогодні 7 грудняа 2017

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Trust is when you say: “you Know, you have him walking”.

And you say “Let him walk… He is warmly dressed…”

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Two students of military chair stand, smoke in the toilet. One asks:
– Know what our major is different from a donkey?
From behind the Mallorcan face, sarcastically:
– Well, what?
– Nothing, comrade major!

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Here swimming is forbidden, says a police woman who is going to enter the water.
– Why didn’t you tell me when I undressed?
To disrobe here is not prohibited.

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Border. Customs. In the compartment includes a customs officer: “any Drugs? Weapons? Smuggling?”.

Passenger: “Me tea with lemon, please.”

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Professor of psychology explains:
The best way to save the girl from depression – sex.
One student asks:
– Professor, how to bring the girl to of depression?

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Businessman caught a goldfish. She tells him:
– Let go of me, your every wish will come true.
– Fish, here I have an apartment in Kiev and Villa in the Canary Islands. Build me a highway, so I could quickly from apartments to villas to reach.
– Well you give! It’s very difficult. Just imagine how much concrete, asphalt… better make another wish.
– Okay. Here I had four wives. Done everything for them, but was always dissatisfied with something, and I don’t know why. Teach me, goldfish, to understand women…
– You freeway four – or six-lane?

***

The doctor asks the patient:
– Did you consider before bed, as I advised you?
Yes. I counted to 234523.
And then you fell asleep?
– No, it was time to get up.

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– That is passed on the right! To buy the car you want. Can advise what is best for girls?

– Washing!

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My Bob says I have perfect figure.
– A fool, he’s a mathematician. For him, the ideal shape is a circle!

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Doctors say that the human body grows only up to 25 years.

Unfortunately, neither the stomach nor the priest about this not even suspect.

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Caucasian old age comes into the store and return to the seller:
– Sell me two suits.
– Grandpa, why do you have two? You’re already 80 years old. Take one to the end of my life.
– One taken, the other for dad.
Look, if you’re 80, the Pope, probably about 100-105!?
– Yes, you’re right, just for grandpa’s wedding want to be elegant.
– If 105 the father, the grandfather, probably, 130 years!? he wants to get married?
– He does not want parents make!!!

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