Smile a new day. Jokes for a good mood for today 6 grudnia 2017

Jokes for a good mood for today 6 grudnia 2017.

Посміхніться новому дню. Анекдоти для доброго настрою на сьогодні 6 грудняа 2017

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Comrade Colonel, why are you on the parade ground and in Slippers, winter?

Colonel: the volunteers are coming!

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At the U.S. coast hardwood stems underwater Choven on which is written “Aydar”. The Americans shocked: Shaw is a miracle of nature.

Get out of there fighter and ask him: “what is it?”

He proudly says: “Submarine “Aydar”

In response to the surprise. Americans are asking: “And the 60 knots it can give?”

In response: “Bob, we will go she’s 60?” Bang and gone.

Americans are in shock. I asked further: “and 80 go?”

In response to: “Bob will go 80?”. Bob: “No Problem!” And left. Americans are in shock.

Again I ask: “And a hundred will go?”

In response: “Bob, a hundred go?”

Bob: “No, hundreds in sparow fins fly

***

— Good morning, brother, what are you drinking?

— Ukrainian Mojito.

— Rum and mint?

— No, vodka and parsley.

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Cume!

— GA?

— What are you doing in my cellar?

And you are looking for!

— Why I ate bacon?

And under the feet do not lie!

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They offered French, Americans and Ukrainians: who will travel on horseback, so that land and give.

The Frenchman drove a mile, stopped the horse and said: “enough for Me. Here I put the estate. There is a flower garden. And there on the sun loungers to relax will. There is a vineyard.”

American traveled three kilometers and stopped the horse: “I’ve had enough. Here is my Villa. There is a lawn. And that’s where the helipad. And, further still, the Golf course”.

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Ukrainian jumped on his horse and drove… Driving-driving horse, driving-driving… Drove the horse, the horse fell. And Ukrainian on his feet and escape! Running-running… I Tripped and fell. Already he feels that he cannot escape. Crawling-crawling — all the feels already and crawl can’t.

Removes his cap, the last effort throws it before himself and moans: “And there is also a cucumber plant!”

***

Three blondes are talking about their daughters.

– I cigarettes from his found – turns out she smokes!

I recently found a syringe in her – turns out she does drugs! – Says the second.

– But I have a condom from my daughter recently found. That’s crazy! It turns out she has a dick!

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The policeman says to the blonde: – Where are You going?

I have no idea, but I think I’m late – everything is going in the other direction.

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One blonde the other shows: Here you see the light?

– See, of course. Here the first takes and turns off the light in the room: – Now there is no light? Guess where is it now?

– Where? Here, the first opens the door of the fridge: Here it is!

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– How to go blonde at a flashing red traffic light? – Go. Stop. Go. Stop …

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