Jokes for a good mood for today 6 grudnia 2017.
Comrade Colonel, why are you on the parade ground and in Slippers, winter?
Colonel: the volunteers are coming!
At the U.S. coast hardwood stems underwater Choven on which is written “Aydar”. The Americans shocked: Shaw is a miracle of nature.
Get out of there fighter and ask him: “what is it?”
He proudly says: “Submarine “Aydar”
In response to the surprise. Americans are asking: “And the 60 knots it can give?”
In response: “Bob, we will go she’s 60?” Bang and gone.
Americans are in shock. I asked further: “and 80 go?”
In response to: “Bob will go 80?”. Bob: “No Problem!” And left. Americans are in shock.
Again I ask: “And a hundred will go?”
In response: “Bob, a hundred go?”
Bob: “No, hundreds in sparow fins fly
— Good morning, brother, what are you drinking?
— Ukrainian Mojito.
— Rum and mint?
— No, vodka and parsley.
— What are you doing in my cellar?
And you are looking for!
— Why I ate bacon?
And under the feet do not lie!
They offered French, Americans and Ukrainians: who will travel on horseback, so that land and give.
The Frenchman drove a mile, stopped the horse and said: “enough for Me. Here I put the estate. There is a flower garden. And there on the sun loungers to relax will. There is a vineyard.”
American traveled three kilometers and stopped the horse: “I’ve had enough. Here is my Villa. There is a lawn. And that’s where the helipad. And, further still, the Golf course”.
Ukrainian jumped on his horse and drove… Driving-driving horse, driving-driving… Drove the horse, the horse fell. And Ukrainian on his feet and escape! Running-running… I Tripped and fell. Already he feels that he cannot escape. Crawling-crawling — all the feels already and crawl can’t.
Removes his cap, the last effort throws it before himself and moans: “And there is also a cucumber plant!”
Three blondes are talking about their daughters.
– I cigarettes from his found – turns out she smokes!
I recently found a syringe in her – turns out she does drugs! – Says the second.
– But I have a condom from my daughter recently found. That’s crazy! It turns out she has a dick!
The policeman says to the blonde: – Where are You going?
I have no idea, but I think I’m late – everything is going in the other direction.
One blonde the other shows: Here you see the light?
– See, of course. Here the first takes and turns off the light in the room: – Now there is no light? Guess where is it now?
– Where? Here, the first opens the door of the fridge: Here it is!
– How to go blonde at a flashing red traffic light? – Go. Stop. Go. Stop …