Trouble-free ways to annoy your children

Безотказные способы раздражать своих детей

Even if the children are grown, they are still children, so, of course, is nothing without parents do not understand in this life. It is necessary to remind that children are not called in weeks and visited a maximum of once per year.

More directives

Mandative tone completely optional, but you should use verbs in imperative mood for any reason and as often as possible. Here’s a scene from everyday life for clarity, characters — a Mother (M) and Child (R):

M: do You eat vegetables?

R: Sometimes I eat.

M: you Should eat more often. Eat vegetables. Eat vegetables more often.

If the child decided to defend their right to feelings and desires, just continue to use the imperative:

R: I Want to sing not want to — I don’t eat.

M: All Right. Want.


Use that word and its variations to help the child understand that you’re worried about something. Better to say with a grim expression on his face and sad eyes — you can just take them slightly down and to the side. Example of dialogue:

R: I’m going out.

M: …

R: What is it?

M: Nothing . (sighs, looks away down and to the side)

All children are able to read minds, and if they acted on their own — so they want to hurt you. Then you should think about following the reception.

“You don’t love me”

This phrase you will bring the guilt of eternal residence in the heart of a child. It will not be evicted even experienced psychologists. Playing on this sense, you, as the puppeteer can pull the strings and control the unsuspecting ditthi:

R: Today will not be able to go.

M: You just don’t love me!

Voila — the child has changed his route and headed your way.

“I know better”

You don’t need to use any arguments in everyday disputes. This phrase is the guarantor of truth. Don’t listen to your “opponent”. Can use variations and additions: “I don’t live in the first year”, “I experience something more”, “Then you’ll be sorry that I didn’t listen”.

Always compare the child with abstract “all”

How is it that the child took, what could be dissatisfied with something? Here are examples of conversations with children of different ages:

R: I don’t want to go to school.

M: do not want to, but go.


R: I don’t like my job, I want to find another.

M. not All like that, but all work.

Keep telling yourself that. Together we can raise a generation of people who cannot be led astray, because they don’t know where you’re going and what you want.

Be sure there is always something to complain about

You must always be alert. You’re the parent! Only you know how. Therefore, all the actions your child will be incorrect. Constantly repeat to him the truth. Scene illustration:

R: I was warmly dressed(eh), and I go with friends camping.

M: In the bus, sweat, and in the forest freeze.


R: I decided(a) it’s not sweet.

M: I Can still eat chocolate now? And tomorrow will come on a cake? Completely without sugar is impossible.


R: the bus stole your wallet.

M: there is Nothing to sit and stare.


These techniques are guaranteed to piss off not only your children, but also any person. Don’t forget about the cumulative effect. If you think that any phrase has not had the desired effect, calmly repeat it in other situations. Very soon you will see the result of their manipulations.


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